Daily life of an interracial couple - The good and the bad

Less than 50 years ago interracial marriage was illegal in the United States and many other countries. But even though that barrier is gone, still many interracial couples get discriminated nowadays. As my other half and I are an interracial couple as well I got asked many times how this affects our daily lives.

Roots
My boyfriend is 100% Vietnamese and I am Eurasian (for full explanation about my ethnicity click here). Although I am proud of my Asian roots, my brothers and sister do not acknowledge their roots and most of the time if someone asks, they do not admit they are mixed. As I am the youngest I was very confused by this. I grew up with the privileges of getting to know the ins and outs of more cultures than one, eating different foods and celebrating several Asian and Western holidays. I enjoyed everything and see no harm in growing up like this.
As we got older my brothers and sister didn't like to visit my Asian family and only hung out with non-Asian kids. When I started learning Japanese my siblings simply called me a 'weirdo' (and they still do). I felt left out sometimes but didn't really paid attention to it until I started dating. Of course my siblings only dated non-Asian people, so when my boyfriend and I started going out the real issues started coming.

The aggressive Vietnamese
When I was around sixteen my father told me that I should definitely marry a Chinese man. He said I was the only one who could 'maintain our roots' and that it was simply the best choice for me. Short after that I started dating my boyfriend in secrecy. This was the only time ever I felt uncomfortable being judged by my family so I kept it on a low profile. After one year I told my parents and my siblings the truth and everyone freaked out. My father was extremely mad and said a person of Chinese heritage is never suitable for a Vietnamese man. When I wanted to move in with him, my sister took me apart and said; ''Vietnamese men are not good to their wife's, they are really aggressive and rude and should only date Vietnamese women because they are used to it''. As I was shocked because of her rudeness I asked her where these 'facts' came from. She said her boyfriend who travels a lot, told her the Vietnamese are not so nice and that one of her friends also dates a Vietnamese man.
Even though I am the youngest of our family, so far my boyfriend and I lasted longer than any of my siblings relationships. It was only after years they accepted him.
My boyfriend doesn't really feel like he is part of the family, but after a while my father and he started to get along pretty well. And my father learned they actually had a lot in common.

Feeling uncomfortable in public
At the beginning I actually never noticed anyone other than my family having problems with our relationship, until my boyfriend mentioned it. One day after we went shopping we went for a drink on a sunny terrace. As we sat down he said to me 'Don't you think it's annoying?' With no idea what he was talking about I was looking flustered. 'They are always giving us a weird look.' I was looking kind of worried after he said that and asked him 'Do you think it's because of our ethnicity?' As my boyfriend doesn't really likes heavy conversations he just joked it away with; 'No, they are just thinking how such an ugly man can date a beautiful woman like you.' Even though I went with the joke I could see it really made him uncomfortable. It got even worse when we went to a party; a Chinese guy who knew my roots went up to him and said 'a man of Vietnamese blood is never good enough for a Chinese beauty' (he mentioned the beauty because the first character of my Chinese name means beauty). After those unpleasant experiences he started to distance himself from me in public and wouldn't even hold hands. He became very self conscious and was very insecure. I felt terrible for him because he was affected by other people's nonsense. Why is a Vietnamese person of lower rank than a Chinese person? Why do people neglect the fact that I am not 100% Chinese? Why do they discriminate interracial couples at all? Why do we have to date our own race only? Since I am a mixed race who am I allowed to date following the norms? 

What about the children?
This is a question we get a lot (mostly from people older than us). What about the children? This is the thing I am actually most excited about being an interracial couple. I cannot imagine anything more beautiful than different cultures melting together into one amazing child. They can speak several languages fluently from a young age and get to know many beautiful aspects of different cultures. I don't see anything wrong with that. But at the beginning I felt terrible every time I heard that question, as if they are implying there is no bright future for our kids, while the US even has a mixed president for example!

Getting used to it
After being together for many years now we have found peace in the midway. He regained his confidence and feels comfortable again, while I am proud and happy to be with him everyday. Of course we get weird looks, silly questions and experience a little racism from time to time but in the end it's all worth it.

I hope I have answered all your questions in this post and that it was interesting to read.
Thank you all for the requests.

~Mei mei

#Asianguestguide 2 - How to deal with Chinese guests - China's booming tourism industry

Chinese tourism industry
We all can't deny the fast growing industries in China and some even call it the country of prosperity and welfare. Welfare equals money, and if there is money, the hard-working Chinese can go on a holiday. The domestic tourism of China has continuously increased with 10% each year over the last decade and increases every year.
If  those facts of China's domestic tourism already leaves your mouth open, you will be surprised by hearing nearly one in ten international tourists worldwide is Chinese, which around half are leisure guests. And on top of that they spend the most in total (129 $ billion, followed by the Americans 86$ billion in 2013)!!
As I live in Europe myself, I can say that the Chinese love Europe! And here in the Netherlands they are trying to profit from the boom of Chinese tourists with new measures. From Amsterdam Schiphol Airport there are direct flights to seven Chinese cities, they hand out presents during Chinese New Year and even all luxury shops accept Chinese currency. By 2020 it is estimated that 200 million (!) Chinese will go overseas, double the number that did so last year. So the Chinese tourists DO matter.

The golden rule
So after reading this you will understand that if you work in the hospitality industry, you are very likely to get in contact with Chinese travelers. Whether they are on a business or leisure trip, you are the one that can make their stay in your country memorable.
But how can you satisfy a Chinese guest?  The golden rule is actually very simple; if you can, give them what they want. it sounds really cheesy but it's true. Even the major companies do it! If you think I'm kidding I will share a true situation which recognized the guest's need and then used this golden rule;
Emirates Airlines, the fourth-largest airline in the world, has won over the retail-crazy Chinese by simply boosting their baggage allowance.They recognized when Chinese travelers go abroad, they come home with more then when they left. So just by making a small change they won tremendous market share of the Chinese consumer.
So how can we apply this in our situation? Imagine this; you work at the front-desk and just checked in a Chinese guest (without talking too much, because he does not speak your language), the guest comes back and is obviously upset. So what now? The first rule of trying to solve an issue, is acknowledging the issue itself. When you help a guest and cannot speak their language, it's obvious that the guest has many questions because of the lack of information. To prevent this you can have a translator make simple information sheets in the language of the guest. So if you work in a hotel and have many Chinese guests while nobody speaks Chinese, a simple sheet with breakfast times, opening hours, rules and other crucial information can make the guest feel at ease. And not to mention yourself too, I know it can be quite frustrating to send a guest off without really helping them out. At least now you have some information ready and you can point things out more easily.

After the golden rule
So after you tried to help them by using the golden rule, also make note of these pointers given by the China Outbound Tourism Research Institute.

 Family name comes first, normally only one syllable (Xi Jinping)
 Status comes before gender. No 'ladies first' in China.
 66% of Chinese search the web before making a travel decision.
 It is appreciated a lot when a non-Chinese person tries to speak Chinese.
 Numbers 4 and 44 are pronounced the same way as the word for 'death'  and are therefore unlucky. They should be avoided. The number 8 has a positive connotation.


In the end it is all about trying to help your customers and respecting their culture and heritage. If you encounter many Chinese in your job, try to learn more about their culture and learn some easy phrases to connect better with them and make them feel at ease. It will cost you some time after work, but can make a huge difference in the next encounter!

I hope you enjoyed this post full of facts and pointers, next part is coming up soon. Please let me know if you would like me to cover a certain subject!

~Mei mei

#Asianguestsguide 1 - Introduction; dealing with Asian guests in the hospitality industry

I am pleased to tell you I am starting with a new blog series called 'Asian Guest Guide'. In every post I will review a particular type of guest, or guests from a specific part of Asia. For everyone working in the hospitality industry I want this to be a little guide on how you can manage with foreign guests in certain situations in this industry.

Why did I come up with this guide?
I am working as a front desk agent myself and have to deal with guests from every part of Asia on a daily basis. I worked for quite a while in a major Japanese hotel as well, which equals even more Asian guests. My family has been in the hospitality industry for many years and had their own restaurants and hotels. Even though I love the diversity of guests I see every day, I see my colleagues struggling trying to deal with the 'oh-so-difficult' Asian guests on a daily basis.
In this series I am going to simplify these situations, analyse guest profiles and share my own experiences in general.

If you have any specific situations you would like me to cover in this series, or if you have difficulties with understanding some type of guest, please let me know and I will try to analyze the situation and cover the outcome in this series.

Part one will be up soon!

~ Mei mei

Keeping up learning languages while doing nothing special

Everyone who is studying a foreign language will reach that point where you think you have lost your motivation. Although everyone will say you have to continue studying even though you don't feel like it, there is actually nothing wrong with taking a little break. Allowing yourself to have a break will make your mind free of stress so you can regain new inspiration.
Even if you do not want to open your books there are still many ways to learn new words, grammar, etcetera effortless. I have explained some of these simple methods below.

Podcasts;
I have an iPod only for my podcasts. Listening to podcasts can be done while you're on your way to work, have to wait for the train or while you're preparing the dinner. This is a great method for those who are have surpassed the beginners level and feel at ease listening to conversations. They will easily pick up new sentences because they already understand the grammar behind it. If you think conversations are a little hard, just stick to listening music. This is also a great way to relax while you're still studying.

Dramas, TV-shows and movies;
For those who are learning Japanese or Korean you have the access to many great dramas, TV-shows, and movies for free online. If you are an beginner this is an easy way to get comfortable with the foreign language.If you are more advanced this is a fun way to check how much you already understand. There will always be a good show or movie in the genre you like.

Eventually you will pick up the dictionary again to find out what the word is they use so frequently in your drama. You will regain your interest and continue your studies with the new information you have learned from simply watching a movie or listening to the news in the language of your studies!

Keep the good work up!

Thank you for reading.
~Mei mei